Quick Takeaways
-
Spiritual maturity ≠ age or knowledge — it’s measured by love.
-
Growing older isn’t the same as growing up — maturity means taking responsibility.
-
God’s design brings order: identity, purpose, and healthy boundaries.
-
Sin disordered creation, but Jesus restores God’s order through grace.
-
Taking responsibility is the starting point for healing and maturity.
-
Accountability and community protect your soul and promote growth.
-
Submission to God’s authority aligns our hearts and builds obedience.
-
Obedience brings freedom, humility, and transformation.
-
Contribution (serving others) is evidence of real spiritual adulthood.
-
Maturity shows in how we love, not just what we know.
In-Depth Summary
Good morning. We’re continuing our Changes That Heal series, and this week’s focus is all about maturity — what it really means to grow up, both emotionally and spiritually.
The speaker begins with a lighthearted moment about watching an old Diane Keaton movie and hearing the song “You Don’t Own Me.” That song used to feel like freedom — “I can do whatever I want” — but now, looking back, she realizes that kind of freedom actually led to trouble. There’s a big difference between growing older and growing up. Real maturity doesn’t come from independence; it comes from learning to live under God’s authority.
She jokes about the challenges of adulting — paying bills, endless meetings, deciding what’s for dinner — but uses those laughs to make a serious point: spiritual and emotional maturity don’t come automatically. You can age without growing. You can have knowledge, a job, or even success, and still react like a three-year-old when life doesn’t go your way. True growth is measured by love, not accomplishments.
1. Maturity Is Measured by Love
Paul tells the church in Colossae that Christ is the one we preach about, and that we are called to help others “become mature in Christ.” Jesus himself said that the world would recognize his followers by their love. So, in the kingdom of God, love is the scoreboard — not knowledge, not age, not success, but love that gives, serves, and lays down its life for others.
Maturity means looking like Jesus — giving rather than taking, serving rather than demanding, and loving even when it costs something.
2. God’s Original Design: Order and Relationship
To understand maturity, we go back to the beginning — Genesis 1. Before anything existed, God did. Out of perfect order and love within the Trinity — Father, Son, and Holy Spirit — God created a world that was beautifully ordered. He separated light from darkness, land from sea, and sky from earth. Everything had a place and purpose.
Then, out of love, God created humanity in his image. That gave us identity, purpose, and relationship with him. We were made to reflect his character, grow into his likeness, and live within the healthy boundaries he established — boundaries meant not to limit us, but to let freedom flourish. God said, “You are free to eat from any tree, but not from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.” Why? Because real freedom always involves choice.
When sin entered the world, that perfect order was disordered. Humanity violated boundaries, hid from God, and blamed each other — the original avoidance of responsibility. Ever since then, we’ve all been running from maturity.
3. Jesus Restores God’s Order
But God didn’t abandon his design. Through Jesus — the second Adam — God restored what was lost. In Christ, our identity is redeemed, our character is being formed, and our authority is re-established. Healing begins when we take responsibility — for our emotions, our choices, and our growth.
Paul said, “Each of you should carry your own load.” No one else can do your growing for you. Like exercise, maturity is personal — no one else can do your reps. But the good news is that you don’t grow alone: the Holy Spirit works in you, giving both the desire and the power to follow God’s will.
Growth begins when excuses stop.
4. Accountability: Healing in Community
Responsibility thrives in the soil of accountability. Proverbs says, “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” James adds that confession and prayer among believers bring healing. Growth doesn’t happen in isolation; it happens in connection.
Even Jesus modeled this. When his soul was “overwhelmed to the point of death,” he invited three disciples to watch and pray with him in Gethsemane. Accountability isn’t about control; it’s about inviting others close enough to protect your soul. Everyone needs one or two trusted people who can ask, “How’s your heart? How’s your marriage? How’s your soul?”
Confession before you’re caught breaks the power of hidden sin. Accountability, she says, is “love with skin on.”
5. Authority and Submission
Accountability begins in childhood — God designed parents to teach it. Parents have real authority but also clear limits. We’re called to raise children not by control, but by guidance — preparing them to live under God’s ultimate authority.
When children grow, that responsibility must transfer — too soon breeds rebellion; too late stunts maturity. Jesus modeled this at age twelve when he said, “Did you not know I’d be about my Father’s business?” He honored his parents while recognizing his higher calling.
Spiritual maturity, then, means learning to live under authority — not as victims, but as people governed by God. James says, “Submit yourselves to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee.” Jesus showed us how: even when facing the cross, he prayed, “Not my will, but yours be done.” That is power under control — submission as strength.
Submission aligns our hearts with God’s authority and positions us for obedience.
6. Obedience: The Expression of Love
Jesus said, “If you love me, keep my commandments.” Obedience isn’t about coercion; it’s about love. Jesus became obedient to death on a cross because of love — and that obedience brought salvation to the world.
Obedience frees us from fear, pride, and self-sabotage. Spiritual adulthood begins when obedience outweighs emotion and excuses.
7. Contribution: Maturity in Action
Maturity doesn’t end in obedience — it expresses itself in contribution. The speaker tells a story about her adult daughter moving back home. They no longer have rules; they have boundaries. They no longer have chores; they make contributions. Contributing isn’t about control — it’s about growth.
The same is true in the church. Every believer has a part to play. “From him, the whole body grows and builds itself up in love as each part does its work.” Your healing depends partly on someone else’s contribution — and theirs depends on yours. Jesus modeled this: “The Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve.”
At the Last Supper, when no one offered to wash feet, Jesus took a towel and did it himself. He said, “I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you.” Greatness in God’s kingdom isn’t about what you achieve — it’s about what you give.
8. Returning to the Heart
The sermon closes with a call to surrender. Healing doesn’t begin with willpower — it begins with a surrendered heart. The problem isn’t just immaturity; it’s that our lives have been disordered by sin. The wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ.
At the cross, the line is drawn — the old ends, and the new begins. Jesus restores what sin broke. When you give him your heart, he replaces the heart of stone with a heart of flesh. Only a soft heart can be healed, love others, and walk in maturity.
The invitation is simple but profound:
Lay your heart before God. Let him wash and reorder it in love. Allow grace to welcome you, truth to confront you, and time to grow you.
Because when Christ brings order to your life, he brings rest to your soul.
That’s what Changes That Heal is all about.